I’ll ‘ave ‘Alf

January 29, 2022

If you’re of a certain age, then you’ll remember with some fondness the days when there was comedy, not political correctness. When it was ok for men to smell like a “Brute” and ladies to talk about ‘periods’ only in the letters section of “Womens Own”, not stage centre at “The Apollo”.

Back then we had shows like “Love Thy Neighbour”, the story of working class folk divided by race although equalled and opposites, united by their own brand of racism. They worked, drank and lived together. The males engaged into their brand of bigotry and the wives, each other’s best friend.

One character from the pub scenes who stood out, always asked for a half pint when a round was ordered. The catchphrase could be heard on every playground as well as pub. Comedy was family entertainment and parents educated their issue about what was real and fiction. Not to repeat what the tv said.

(L “I’ll ‘ave ‘Alf!”)

Today we ventured out and at our favourite restaurant the order was given, however for half what I would usually order. One portion and two plates. Nik the Greek did us proud as always; supportive knowing full well I am seriously attempting to reduce my weight for surgery.

No denial, no guilt, and no Marjorie Dawes (“half the fat, half the calories so you can have twice as much”); just a pleasant lunch in safe surroundings, with beautiful company, excellent fair and first class service.

Marjorie Dawes aka Matt Lucas

“I’ll ‘ave ‘alf” and still be full.

Andrew Fisher


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